2. As the May 17th commencement for Notre Dame graduates approaches, the controversy over President Barack Obama being the keynote speaker grows. Critics say Obama's views on abortion rights and stem cell research are clearly not aligned with the Catholic church. "It is clear that Notre Dame didn't understand what it means to be Catholic when they issued this invitation," said Cardinal Francis George. "Come back to me when he disowns a gay son, can recite no Bible passages, and attends church only to avoid being socially ostracized."
3. A new Gallup Poll shows that 51% of Americans consider themselves to be pro-life. In related news, nearly half of Americans wish they were dead.
4. The Hills star Heidi Montag (now Heidi Pratt) is officially going by just "Heidi," she says, "with the great tradition of stars like Madonna and Cher." And in the tradition of stars like Prince, her husband Spencer Pratt continues to go by the symbol of a stinky, worn out douche bag.
5. British actor and former football player (UK) Vinnie Jones has been acquitted of assault charges stemming from a bar fight in South Dakota on December 4th. The plaintiff Juan Trevino-Barrera said Jones' attack was unprovoked, but Jones insists he acted in self defense. The judge eventually ruled in favor of Jones after seeing that the other guy was not beat to death.
High five.
