Friday, May 8, 2009

Japanese Robots & Task Forces

1. A South Beach Miami priest has come under fire recently for photos which show him embracing a woman on the beach. The Archdiocese of Miami has removed Father Alberto Cutie from his duties saying that Cutie dishonored the vows of celibacy he promised to uphold. What do you expect women to do? His job security is thousands of years old, guaranteed no STD's, he probably sounds sexy speaking Latin, he'll go to Hell if he cheats, and his last name is Cutie. Please, I don't need competition like this.

2. A hacker is asking for a $10 million ransom after allegedly obtaining millions of prescription drug records from a Virginia website. Credibility is in question, however, as the hacker claims to have Social Security numbers as well, which officials say the database did not contain. Still, police have considered giving into the hackers demands, just to be safe, and then hopefully catch the thief when someone buys $10 million worth of Lord of the Rings weaponry and hay fever medication.

3. President Obama took some criticism on Thursday when he signed a National Day of Prayer proclamation but opted out of a service at the White House. Critics like Shirley Dobson, Chairwoman for the National Day of Prayer Task Force, were extremely disappointed in the President's decision, saying, "At this time in our nation's history, we would hope our president would recognize more fully the importance of prayer." Dobson then noticed the Task Force "prayer signal" in the clouds, swirled around in her cape and tights, and bounded out the window.


4. A new robot teacher in Japan is wowing students and schools. Saya, the creation of Hiroshi Kobayashi, a Professor at Tokyo University of Science, looks incredibly lifelike and can speak 300 phrases and 700 vocabulary words. Underneath, a system of 18 motors controls Saya's wide range of facial expressions and most students said they completely forgot they were learning from a robot. Critics, however, say that while impressive, the Japanese robot has limited use since it is 300 feet tall.

5. Jeff Kepner, the nation's first double hand transplant, is said to be recovering well, after a nine hour surgery on Monday involving 10 hand surgeons. Kepner, who had lost his hands a decade ago, has been mysteriously quiet, spending hours and hours alone in his room. When reporters knocked on the door to ask questions, Kepner yelled, "Just a minute!" which was followed by the hurried sounds of closing drawers and Kleenex dispensing.

High five.