1. On Monday, North Korea defied the world community by testing a nuclear device underground. However, experts around the globe are skeptical as to the strength of the bomb, which North Korea insists was a powerful success. When asked if there was an outside expert to verify their results, Kim Jong Il said, "Oh yeah, she loved our results. Who? Oh, you wouldn't know her, she lives in Canada. Don't bother trying to track her down, she just moved there and is probably unlisted."
2. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton surprised Yale grads when she arrived at Monday's commencement to receive an honorary degree. Clinton did not give a commencement address, but she did give each graduate a gift bag of sorts filled with various State Department items. Each graduate received a mug, a pen, and a Guantanamo Bay detainee.
3. Jon and Kate Gosselin, stars of the reality show Jon & Kate Plus 8, are reportedly undergoing severe turmoil in their marriage with rumors of infidelity abound. Both Jon and Kate deny that they've been unfaithful. However, even more shocking is the rumor that one of the Gosselin children is seeing other multiples.
4. Recent studies out of MIT and other institutes are showing that texting may be taking its toll physically and psychology on teens. Researchers find not only a shift in social development, but also increased thumb injuries, some of which are permanent. "This is a trend that parents should be paying attention to," an MIT scientist says. "I mean, whatever happened to healthy, irresponsible teen sex and drug use?"
5. In Vassalboro, Maine, a nudity complaint is calling into question the operation of a local topless donut shop. Police were sent to Grand View Topless Coffee shop to investigate complaints that waitresses were going outside without shirts on. Authorities have identified the person filing complaints as fictional Bewitched character Gladys Kravitz.
High five.
