James Frey & Mockingbirds

1. Recent reports claim that Oprah Winfrey has apologized to A Million Little Pieces author James Frey. Frey was lambasted on Winfrey's show when it was discovered that portions of his book (part of Oprah's book club) were fabricated. When asked to confirm whether or not she actually had apologized, Oprah said, "Yeah, but I totally faked it."

2. Mel Gibson and his girlfriend are reportedly expecting a child, this coming after Gibson and his wife very recently filed for divorce. Gibson already has 7 children with his soon-to-be ex-wife. In a statement released today, Gibson said monotonously, "Yay, Catholicism..."

3. A new study in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences shows that mockingbirds can actually tell human beings apart from each other. In controlled experiments the birds reacted in different ways to different people approaching their nests. Mockingbirds, like most birds, are extremely protective of their nests. But scientists say they're no where near as mean as their cousin species the Sexwithyourwifebird.

4. Google CEO Eric Schmidt told a graduating class at the University of Pennsylvania, "Turn off your computer ... turn off your phone and discover all that is human around us." The Google Chairman stressed the importance of unplugging from technology for a a little while. "Nothing beats holding the hand of your grandchild as he walks his first steps," said Schmidt. He added, "And you can't describe the joy attained by presenting that grandchild with his first surgically grafted cyborg attachment."

5. The Pentagon said on Monday that Bible quotes are longer included on the daily intelligence briefings sent to the White House, as was regular practice during the Bush administration. Most in favor of the change is the daily intelligence briefings delivery guy who was tired of having to hand the President the war plans dressed as Jesus.

High five.