D&D & DNA

1. Scientists at the University of Colorado have discovered what they believe to be definitive evidence that water once existed on Mars. The research team found the unmistakable characteristics of a shoreline they say surrounded a lake about 3.5 billion years ago. Even stronger proof is Martian paparazzi photos of topless Martian celebrities at the beach.

2. Even though testing has exonerated 240 people, the Supreme Court said on Thursday that convicts "have no constitutional right to test DNA evidence." The ruling came in a case involving an Alaskan convicted of attacking a prostitute. Experts say this ruling won't change much in the way of DNA testing, as prostitutes will always be Nature's DNA testers.

3. PETA is frustrated with President Obama after he swatted a fly during an interview with CNBC. The animal rights group said it would send the President a humane bug catcher that allows users to trap bugs and release them outside unharmed. In Obama's defense though, in the fly community, the fly he swatted was a convicted sex offender.

4. Wizards of the Coast, the company that publishes the handbooks for Dungeons & Dragons is suing eight people after the latest D&D handbook was illegally posted on Scribd.com. This prolongs the age old question: what is worse, playing D&D, or to wanting to play D&D so badly you will break the law to do it?

5. Some members of the GOP are questioning the credentials of Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor, asking if she will speak "for all of us, or just for some of us." The criticism was made by a top GOP official after a GOP-led United Negro College Fund fundraiser co-sponsored by Bob Jones University with a keynote address by Justice Antonin Scalia. Wait, I'm sorry, I seem to be reading the Bizarro World news again.

High five.