You Can't Handle The Trudeau!

1. Infomercial guru Kevin Trudeau, author of Cancer Cures They Don't Want You To Know About and Debt Cures They Don't Want You To Know About, has been sentenced to 30 days in jail and for telling followers of his website to flood a federal judge's email inbox. The inundation left the judge's computer unusable and Trudeau has since apologized. Trudeau is hard at work on his next book Prison Shivs You Don't Want Them To Know About.

2. On Tuesday while speaking to a group of Tea Party members, Sarah Palin praised the movement but admitted that they eventually have to choose a party. "Because the Tea Party movement is not a party, and we have a two-party system, they’re going to have to pick a party," said Palin. Tea Party members say regardless of which party they join, they'll bring the kool-aid!

3. Jon Gosselin and TLC have reportedly reached a settlement deal, ending a months long suit between the two parties over breach of contract issues. Mark Jay Heller, Gosselin's attorney, says his client "has expressed his desire to close the litigation chapter of Jon & Kate Plus 8." In other news, attorney Mark Jay Heller is pregnant with quadruplets.

4. Former slugger Mark McGwire suited up for his new job as the St. Louis Cardinals hitting coach on Wednesday, but could not escape reporters' questions about his admitted steroid use. "It's something I regret," McGwire said. "I can't say I'm sorry enough to everybody." McGwire angrily denied that steroids helped him hit homeruns and quickly ended the Q&A by hurling a reporter into the Sun.

5. Tea Party organizers say that their next convention will be held in Las Vegas, simply because President Obama told people not to go to Las Vegas. The convention will be held July 15-17 but organizers would not reveal a specific location. Today President Obama said he'd "absolutely hate hate hate it if the Tea Party convention was held in south Chicago."

High five.