Black Steele

1. In the February issue of Washingtonian, RNC Chairman Michael Steele suggests that criticism of the RNC is motivated by racism and the fact that he is black. "I don't see stories about the internal operations of the DNC that I see about this operation," said Steele. However, editors at the Washingtonian say Steele's argument may not sell, since the white paper they print on is technically blacker than he is.

2. In a new Washington Post/ABC News poll, 60% of Americans say they want the government to pass some kind of comprehensive health care reform. Pollsters say the remaining 40% would likely have voted the same but died from pre-existing conditions.

3. On Tuesday, Google introduced a new feature to its Gmail service called "Google Buzz" which allows users to create status updates similar to how they would on Facebook. Analysts say Buzz is a direct response to Facebook's growing popularity, which threatens Google's advertising revenue. Google's expansion continues next month when it releases a new vagina diagnostic tool implant called "Va-Google."

4. It was announced today by Paramount Pictures that Tom Cruise is signed on to star in and produce the next Mission: Impossible. JJ Abrams will not return to direct but will stay on to produce, says Paramount CEO Brad Grey. Scheduled for a Memorial Day 2011 release, the new film will be called Mission: Impossible IV: Run, Suri, Run!

5. On Tuesday, MTV revealed its new and improved logo which drops "Music Television," its original tagline. "If you watch the channel, you've seen that it's definitely going in a new direction," says spokesperson Tina Exarhos. Media experts agree and say it makes sense for them to change their logo to a douche.

High five.