Sarah Palin Tall

1. During a trip to Saudi Arabia Tuesday, when asked how she would feel if Sarah Palin were elected president, Hillary Clinton said she would not leave the country. "It's part of the American political environment that people are always speculating who will run for president," said Clinton to an all girls college. However, when asked what he would do during a Palin presidency, former president Bill Clinton replied, "An internship."

2. A French arrest warrant has been issued for defamed U.S. cyclist Floyd Landis for allegedly hacking into computers at a doping laboratory. Landis had his 2006 Tour de France victory stripped after the laboratory detected elevated levels of testosterone in his blood. French authorities can't arrest Landis outside the country but hope to lure him by introducing tiny, tiny jockstraps you can only get in France.

3. Sean Hannity is set to release a new book next month that aims to defeat President Obama's "radical agenda." HarperCollins will print 1.5 million first edition copies of Conservative Victory, available March 30th. Hannity's other books include Deliver Us From Evil, Let Freedom Ring, and NAMBLA'n the Night Away!

4. Today astronauts at the international space station opened the shutters on the new Tranquility module, an observation deck that will give astronauts a never before seen look at Earth and space. In future news, due to the creation of some impressive high resolution camera technology and upcoming litigation, Oxford English Dictionary had no choice but to include the phrase "space perverts."

5. In a report Tuesday, scientists say that after extensive testing they believe King Tut died from malaria and a broken leg. This defeats the previous theory that Tut's health had slowly declined after shutting himself up in a pyramid and becoming history's first crazy cat lady.

High five.