It's Not Wise To Upset A Snooki

1. This week a nude photo of Jersey Shore's Snooki was posted anonymously to a site called "nakedSnooki.com." Snooki had previously denied reports that naked photos of her were circulating. However, those who have seen this particular nude photo say you can tell it's Snooki, because her vagina has a blowout.

2. According to reports, Tiger Woods burst into a rampage during a sex rehab session, denying an addiction to sex and calling the therapy nonsense. Woods also allegedly lashed out at his fellow patients causing one woman to burst into tears. Despite his aggressive outburst, authorities say no one was injured, though 3 women were laid.

3. Former 90210 star Brian Austin Green is $70,000 behind on his mortgage payments according to papers filed by Green's lender SunTrust Mortgage. The actor's rep says the incident is all actually part of a "calculated real estate move." In future news, actor Brain Austin Green was injured today when he attempted to flee a bankruptcy court police officer in what he called a "calculated escape plan."

4. After tallying the income data for lobbyist firms, the Center for Responsive Politics says 2009 was the most profitable year for lobbying ever. Special interests spent $3.47 billion lobbying the federal government last year, topping 2008's $3.3 billion. Suddenly, Nancy Pelosi's switch from Charmin brand to the lesser known Lobby Lips brand is beginning to make sense.

5. A Delaware teenager was arrested on Wednesday after police found him in a homemade igloo with 7.5 grams of marijuana, 2 bongs, and a survival knife. Officers released the teen to his parents custody but not before charging him with carrying a concealed deadly weapon, possession of marijuana, and one sweet ass fort.

High five.