Palin Provocative & Perry Plugged

1. Warehouse retailer Costco says because of pricing disputes they will stop carrying Coca Cola brand products. Coca Cola did not comment but says negotiations are moving forward. Costco owns 560 stores worldwide, and today white trash teeth everywhere celebrated.

2. Tuesday's column from Washington Times editor Wesley Pruden ruffled some feathers when it claimed Obama lacked a "blood impulse" for what America is about due to having a Kenyan father and his mother being "attracted to men of the Third World." Wesley Pruden went home that night and was horrified to find that his daughter had in fact begun dating a boy with an overbite.

3. It was reported in Politics Daily that Senator Orrin Hatch will introduce amendments to the senate health bill which will restrict funding for abortion practices. Democrats say they don't have protection for that sort of thing on them, but that a quick dip with Hatch in the heavily chlorinated, congressional swimming pool should kill off any chances of "making a big mistake."

4. Sarah Palin is reportedly very upset over a recent Newsweek cover photo where she dons a running outfit and poses provocatively. The photo was originally used for the magazine Runner's World, and Palin calls use of the photo by Newsweek "sexist." Palin's critics however call her a hypocrite and point out that she also authorized the photo to be used for the magazine Sexy Sexist Monthly.

5. Katy Perry released an MTV Unplugged CD/DVD on Tuesday, hoping to continue the success she began with her 2008 album One of the Boys. "It was the last real look I wanted to give on the record and show off some of the songs at their most simple," said Perry. Hmm, Katy Perry releases song about kissing a girl... dates English "man" Russell Brand... participates in concert called "unplugged"... Perry showing no interest in me is finally beginning to make sense.

High five.