Coming Prejean & Going Rogue

1. In her new book Going Rogue, Sarah Palin goes into great detail about McCain campaign manager Steve Schmidt and their tumultuous relationship. Palin includes the vetting process where she was asked to reveal any skeletons in her closet, the worst she says being a D she received in a college course. And all this time I figured the worst skeletons in her closet were... the many skeletons of animals in her closet.

2. The site Radar Online has reportedly uncovered 8 more Carrie Prejean sex tapes and dozens of topless photos. Prejean today released a statement regarding the revelations saying, "Those were private moments and I don't have to answer for my own private moments." Unfortunately, Prejean released the statement topless.

3. On Wednesday, a Texas man drove his one million dollar French-built Bugatti Veyron car into a marsh after police say he was distracted by a bird. When asked why he would be distracted by a bird, the man replied, "Actually it was two. I've always been a sucker for a nice pair of boobies."

4. The Obama administration says it may buy a near empty prison in Illinois, about 150 miles west of Chicago, to house inmates from Guantanamo Bay. Critics believe these dangerous terrorists shouldn't be housed anywhere within the US, but President Obama assures critics these inmates will appear less criminal in such close proximity to the city of Chicago.

5. NASA announced this week that after extensive analysis of data from the LCROSS mission they have uncovered water on the moon in the form of ice. The project involved crashing a satellite into a moon crater in the hopes of getting deep enough to find ice. "The argument that the moon is a dry, desolate place no longer... holds water," said one NASA scientist, smiling wryly. Fellow scientists then crushed his skull with a moon rock.

High five.