Cao's Conscience & Goldman's God

1. An Iranian student shocked the country this week when during a Q+A session at Tehran's Sharif Technical University he criticized Ayatollah Ali Khamenei face-to-face. Insulting the supreme leader is unheard of in Iranian culture and can result in severe punishment. Many opponents of the Ayatollah have shown great support for the young man and plan to throw a parade for his beaten, bloodied corpse.

2. Chris Brown recently talked to MTV's Sway and addressed the comments made by Rihanna concerning their abusive relationship. "While I respect Rihanna's right to discuss the specific events of February 8, I maintain my position that all of the details should remain a private matter between us," said Brown. Brown then beat Sway to death with his microphone.

3. In an interview with the London Times, Goldman Sachs chairman Lloyd Blankfein says that by helping companies raise capital, they're creating jobs and in turn helping everyday people. We're doing "God's work," says Blankfein. He then added, "Now, go to Hell."

4. As the only Republican to vote for the health care bill that passed in the House on Friday, Representative Joseph Cao of Louisiana told the press that it was a "decision of conscience." When a Republican adviser whispered into Cao's ear the actual definition of "conscience," Cao quickly retracted his statement and sprinted away.

5. On Tuesday the San Jose city council will look at a measure which would ban Styrofoam during city events of more than 1,000 people. Passing the measure would make San Jose the largest city to enact such a law. While most citizens are in favor of the legislation, that guy who had San Jose Shark foam fingers surgically grafted to his hands is actively in opposition.

High five.