Peepholes & Assholes

1. Kourtney Kardasian gave birth Monday to a healthy baby boy. Mason Dash Disick was born in a L.A. hospital weighing in at 7 pounds, 6 ounces. Of course, minus butt weight, the baby is 6 ounces.

2. In an interview with the New York Times Tuesday, Connecticut Senator Joe Lieberman said that Liberal enthusiasm for the Medicare buy-in legislation convinced him that opposing the measure was the right thing to do. In a press release Tuesday night, Liberals said they are extremely happy that Senator Lieberman is alive and well and that their enthusiasm would be crushed if he were to hang himself in his office.

3. Tiger Woods is now reportedly being linked to a sports medicine doctor who is under investigation for dealing in illegal drugs. Dr. Anthony Galea says he visited the Woods' home this year while the golfer was recovering from a knee injury. On Tuesday, Galea appeared on Good Morning America to tell viewers that Tiger was a sensual and very well endowed lover.

4. At a UN climate conference Tuesday, former Vice President Al Gore said that based on new computer modeling, the Arctic Ocean could be ice-free by as soon as 2014. "We can still do something about it," said Gore. "The ice is not gone yet." Gore then reached to the nearest reporters face, pulled away as if holding something, and added, "Not like your nose, which is now gone."

5. On Tuesday, ESPN reporter Erin Andrews appeared in court with the man accused of stalking her and secretly video taping her through a peephole in her hotel room. In other news, a hot, steamy video has been released showing sexy ESPN reporter Erin Andrews through a peephole at an unidentified court proceeding.

High five.