Parker Drives Off & Will.He.Is Homeless

1. Prince William is spending Tuesday night out on the street in support of London's homeless charity Centrepoint, for which he has been a spokesman since 2005. "Mental illness, drug and alcohol dependancy and family breakdown" are just some of the things the homeless deal with, said the prince. In other words, Prince William felt like he was right back in the palace.

2. Conservative Alabama House Democrat Rep. Parker Griffith announced that he will be switching over to the Republicans before the upcoming midterm elections. Griffith has voted against most major Democratic legislation and GOP leaders have reportedly been trying to recruit him for sometime. Though an embarrassing moment occurred today when GOP leaders discovered Griffith is already a registered Republican, but in accordance with Alabama state law, never learned to read.

3. On Tuesday, Darth Vader and a handful of stormtroopers rang the bell to open the New York Stock Exchange. Also in attendance were Lucasfilm Ltd. representatives as well as RD-D2. It's at that moment in their Wyoming home that Lynne Cheney realizes Dick's "run to the store" has been taking an awfully long time.

4. A Brazilian chief justice has ordered a 9 year old boy to be legally turned over to his New Jersey father who has been fighting for his custody over the last 5 years. David Goldman was ecstatic when he heard his son Sean would be returned to him in the U.S. However, in future news, an 18 year old Sean Goldman vows never to speak to his father again after paging through a "Women of Brazil" calendar.

5. Actor Arnold Stang, known for his roles alongside stars like Milton Berle and Frank Sinatra, died Tuesday at the age of 91. Stang is most remembered for playing nerdy characters with nasally voices. The wake will be held Thursday followed by one final atomic wedgie.

High five.