Zombie Ants & Guy Who Hates Rosa Parks

1. According to documents released on Tuesday, Karl Rove and the Bush White House were more involved in the firings of U.S. attorneys than they previously let on. Former U.S. attorney in New Mexico David Iglesias told Newsweek that the documents show "potentially illegal reasons" for his removal. Wait until Iglesias learns that Rove also had a role in his father caring for the Grassy Knoll.

2. A new study in the September issue of American Naturalist reveals a species of fungi with the ability to control ants to do its will. The ants are infected by the fungus and then travel to die in the most advantageous spot for the fungus to spread. The name of the fungus is Ophiocordyceps unilateralis or "Rush Limbaugh."

3. A Brazilian crime show may have commissioned killings to improve their ratings, say Brazilian police. The TV show was often on the scene before authorities, bizarrely early in some instances. Upon hearing the news, the producer of American Idol who nudged Paul Abdul off the show kicked himself.

4. On Tuesday a judge ordered that sales of Microsoft Word will be banned in the U.S. in 60 days because it contains technology that violates another company's patent. Microsoft released a statement today emphasizing how disappointed they were but added that they've just stolen some time travel technology, too, so "no biggie."

5. A man at the town hall meeting with Senator Claire McCaskill is now shown in video footage to have torn up a poster of Rosa Parks, apparently unprovoked. News outlets originally showed the African American woman being escorted out but missed beforehand where the man tore up her poster of Parks. It's unsure if the man knew Parks was featured on the poster, but one thing is sure: this completely outdoes the time he parked illegally in a handicapped spot and then skipped gleefully passed a guy in a wheelchair.

High five.