Classic Classism & Old Tractors

1. Internet phone company Vonage announced today that it will make most international calls free in their new $25/month standard plan. Included are about 60 countries everywhere from Asia to South America. Vonage expects the plan to be very popular and has already received a ringing endorsement from Rep. Mark Sanford.

2. Afghans are going to the polls to vote in the second-ever presidential election in the country's history. As experts predicted, the voting has been disrupted by bomb and rocket attacks. Still, Afghans are expected to turn out in record numbers to either re-elect incumbent and front runner President Hamid Karzai, or go in a new direction with challenger and long shot Burka VonWifestoning.

3. A Dallas woman was arrested on Tuesday after getting into a fight with a 13 year old boy in a wheel chair over the boy's soccer ball. The women swung her fists at the boy twice striking the pre-surgical medical halo screwed into his skull. Read all about it in the latest issue of People Fighting Kids In Wheelchairs Who By All Definitions Of Fairness In The Universe Should Be In Wheelchairs Themselves.

4. On Tuesday, a conservative bishop from Hope Christian Church joined those against Universal Healthcare calling it "reverse classism" during a C-SPAN appearance. "My life is not worth less because I'm worth more financially," said Bishop Harry Jackson. Someone from the upper class going on the most expensive media format complaining about "reverse classism" makes about as much sense as me trying to convince a girl I slept with that she had a "reverse orgasm."

5. Deere & Co., the world's largest manufacturer of farm equipment, reported a 27% decline in third quarter profits on Wednesday. The company ultimately beat expectations but is still sluggish in the weak economy. Polls show that Deere owners are not purchasing new equipment and are instead carrying Obama/Hitler posters to town hall meetings in their old tractors.

High five.