Favre Unretires & Novak Retires Permanently

1. On Tuesday, Blockbuster announced that it will offer movies on Motorola cellphones. Blockbuster vice president Kevin Lewis says that thousands of movies will be available for download. Which is awesome because I'm always leaning over to my friends in movie theaters saying, "I wish that douche in front of us could do more with that cell phone."

2. Die hard conservative columnist Robert Novak has died at the age of 78. Novak was well known in political circles as the "Prince of Darkness," a label he embraced. Novak is survived by his wife, daughter and son, as well as logic and reason.

3. It was reported on Tuesday that Brett Favre will in fact play this season for the Minnesota Vikings. Last month Favre announced that he would retire and not return to play for the Vikings... after he announced still earlier that he would be retiring from the Jets... after he announced the season before that he would retire from football all together and not return to the Packers. Favre could not be reached for comment, but did release a statement today saying, "So how about that terrible Michael Vick guy, huh?"

4. Former Survivor cast member and winner Richard Hatch says he was imprisoned because he was gay. "The prosecutorial misconduct has been egregious," says Hatch, recently released from prison after being convicted of tax evasion. Imprisoned because he is gay? Maybe he should be thankful it wasn't the other way around as with most inmates.

5. Former Governor and presidential candidate Mike Huckabee said Tuesday that he doesn't believe their should be a Palestinian state in the West Bank. Huckabee acknowledged the Palestinians need a place to call their own, but that building it in the middle of the Jewish homeland is "unrealistic." Huckabee than busted out a fat ass bass solo.

High five.