Suicidal Planets & Gender-Neutral Swirlies

1. On Thursday, Germany presented Israeli leader Benjamin Netanyahu with the actual architectural blueprints from the Holocaust Nazi death camps. Netanyahu and other Israelis, in Berlin to discuss the Middle East conflict, looked at the gift uncomfortably. "Wow...," said Netanyahu. "And I didn't get you anything."

2. Astronomers have identified a suicidal planet abut 325 lightyears away from Earth. The planet is 10 times the size of Jupiter and circles the star WASP-18 at around 1.9 million miles, which is 1/50th the distance between Earth and our Sun. Scientists say the suicidal planet EMO-666 will fall into the star in about 1 million years while listening to Dashboard Confessional.

3. A&E Television announced on Thursday that it will be acquiring Lifetime Entertainment Services, including Lifetime Television, Lifetime Movie Network, and Lifetime Real Women. In an emotional scene today, Lifetime -- sporting a black eye and a fat, bloody lip -- ran into the arms of A&E just as authorities arrived to take its ex-majority stockholder away in handcuffs.

4. A transgendered teen in Vermont wants the state's middle and high schools to include gender-neutral bathrooms. Officials say such a move would be difficult simply because of budget and resource constraints. My advice is to pick the gender with the nicest bathroom and learn to love the swirly.

5. Bradley Cooper told Access Hollywood during the premiere of his film All About Steve that he's having to eat a lot of strange things to get in shape for a revamped A-Team film. "I'm on this crazy food thing for The A-Team," said Cooper. Well, probably just tastes weird because of all the career poison.

High five.