5 Reasons Being Sick Sucks
1. I just woke up. It's nearly 2AM Central time and I just found the energy to rise. Chills, sniffles, headache, all-day-in-bed smell.
2. No sexy sick voice. Girls usually have a sexy sick voice. Tests have clearly shown that I am not a girl. Social interaction has clearly shown that I am not sexy. And, as you can imagine, looking sickly only helps that.
3. When you're sick and in bed, there is never anything to watch on TV. Ferris Bueller's Day Off? Not a chance. When you're sick, only the finest films will do... films like Sleeping With The Enemy starring Julia Roberts. Always the thriller you welcome when your head is full of mucus.
4. Things you want or need to feel better are only accessible by taking off your comfy silk pajamas and putting on your rigid, cardboard street clothes.
5. Nothing you read is quite as interesting when interrupted by hacking, coughing, and the always lovely projectile sneeze. Wonderful.
Five jokes returns Wednesday.
High five.
