Friday, April 24, 2009

Sarah Palin & Microwaves

1. President Obama and Vice President Joe Biden were relocated to a safe area today after a small plane ventured into restricted air space near the White House. However, the situation quickly dissipated as the pilot obeyed orders to land without incident, while the President and Vice President were nestled safely inside Dick Cheney's enormous balls.

2. A new survey finds that Americans' views on necessities are changing. The poll finds that a majority of Americans believe microwaves, televisions, and home air conditioning to be more of a luxury than a necessity, perhaps unsurprising given the declining economy. However, as the survey also points out, Americans prefer the roominess of a refrigerator box.

3. The supporters of Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin have set up a defense fund to fight the more than $500,000 is legal fees she owes. The fund does have some restrictions, including a $150 limit or 3 wolf pelts.

4. In Colorado Springs on Thursday, a pregnant woman was chased by a bear and then hit by a car while attempting to flee. Thankfully, the pregnant woman is reported to be fine, but the bear had to be put down, since it did not have the proper license to bear arms.


5. Al Gore urged lawmakers on Friday to work together in battling global climate change. The former Vice President told the congressional hearing that technology these days is just too advanced for us to do nothing. Gore then introduced his new inventions the iPod, Xbox360, and the foaming soap dispenser.

High five.