A Tea To Disagree

1. While entering the Capitol this weekend, a few Democratic legislators were the target of racial and homophobic epithets yelled by some Tea Party protesters. Rep. Emanuel Cleaver (D-MO) says he was actually spit on by protesters as he went to vote. Cleaver adds that it wouldn't have been so bad if the Tea Party protester hadn't just drank his own urine from his protective tin foil hat.

2. On Thursday, actress Katherine Heigl was accepting the Female Star of the Year award when the strap of her dress came undone almost exposing her breast. Fortunately for Heigl, host Billy Bush was there to catch the strap and save Heigl any embarrassment. And suddenly it becomes clear as to why his name isn't Billy Penis.

3. Fox News' Sean Hannity is being accused of scamming donors through his Freedom Alliance charity. Critics say that less than 4% of the charity's proceeds go to its targets, children of killed soldiers and wounded veterans. Hannity, author of Let Freedom Ring, Freedom Times Infinity +1 and Damn, Check Out The Set On Freedom -- So Effing Hot, could not be reached for comment at his regular Free-mail address or any other of his listed modes of Freedommunication. However, one of Hannity's signature Press Free-leases is expected shortly.

4. Just a day after a historic health care bill passed through Congress, ten states have announced a collective lawsuit against the federal government's new health care legislation. Alabama, Florida, Nebraska, North Dakota, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, South Dakota, Texas, Utah and Washington have promised to defend their states "from further infringement by the federal government." In a ceremony today, attorney generals from the ten states signed a pact denouncing the bill, except for Alabama who merely smushed his hand on an ink pad and smeared it across the document in the vague shape of a hand print.

5. The University of Ottawa on Friday forewarned conservative pundit Ann Coulter about the limits of free speech in the country prior to her speaking engagement at the school this week. "Promoting hatred against any identifiable group would not only be considered inappropriate, but could in fact lead to criminal charges," said the University's Vice President Francois Houle. Not wanting to seem unwelcoming, however, Houle added, "We of course have set aside special reserved parking for your broomstick."

High five.