Bunnin' An Elevator

1. After once again objecting to an unemployment benefits extension, Senator Jim Bunning refused to speak with reporters and even raised his middle finger at ABC News as he entered a private elevator. However in Bunning's defense, during his private elevator moments, the middle finger is usually the one he crams up his own ass.

2. Archaeologists in Egypt have uncovered a massive granite head they believe to be the pharaoh Amenhotep III, who lived 3,400 years ago. Researchers say this is the largest and most complete stone head ever found in the area. Archaeologists are now planning a future dig to unearth the ancient Egyptian steroids responsible.

3. It was reported Monday that Kate Gosselin of Jon & Katie Plus Eight will be participating in 2010's Dancing With The Stars which premieres March 22. In other news, ex-husband Jon Gosselin was thrilled to discover today that the bowl of Lucky Charms he poured for dinner was mostly stars!

4. A seventh grader at River Valley Middle School in Indiana has been suspended for a week after simply touching a fellow student's Adderall pill. The school's principal says student Rachel Greer was technically in possession of the drug, according the school's zero tolerance policy. Greer's mother was furious with the decision, saying, "We used to live in a country where educators just had inappropriate relations with the students!"

5. With a little over a year left on Katie Couric's contract, CBS has reportedly been in talks to bring Anderson Cooper on board as an anchor. No word yet on whether Couric would leave the network, but Cooper, in preparation for the move, has been maintaining his gray hair and stocking up on Metamucil.

High five.