It's Not A Choi

1. Lt. Dan Choi handcuffed himself to a fence outside the White House Thursday while protesting "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," the rule under which he was discharged from military service after revealing he was gay. Choi had a large gathering of fellow protesters supporting him, until it was discovered the handcuffs were not actually part of the protest.

2. On Glenn Beck's radio program Thursday, Rep. Steve King (R-Iowa) joined Beck in denouncing the possibility of a health care bill vote on Sunday, calling it "an affront to God." But today God released a statement in support of health care reform after his HMO dropped him for being a pre-existing condition.

3. Orly Taitz, leader of the birther movement as well as a "dentist/lawyer," has reportedly qualified as a candidate for California Secretary of State. Experts agree that her credentials won't help her much, but add that if you're going to be only half a dentist, you're probably also going to need to be at least half a lawyer.

4. A New Jersey Wal-Mart is under fire this week after an unidentified person made a racist remark over the loudspeaker, shocking customers who then understandably left the store in disgust. Authorities checked surveillance footage but say they haven't determined if the culprit was a Wal-Mart employee or customer, as the uniforms are identical.

5. Researchers at Germany's Karlsruhe Institute of Technology announced in the journal Science Thursday that they have successfully cloaked a tiny bump in a layer of gold, "preventing its detection." The scientists say that cloaking larger items is not yet feasible, but that they're still hopeful to reach their ultimate goal of cloaking German history from 1939-1945.

High five.