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1. A new study released by Keele University in England suggests that swearing actually helps ease pain. Scientists believe that cursing triggers a "fight or flight" response in your brain, better preparing your body. Hear that parents? So feel better about slapping your foul-mouthed kids.
2. Sources are reporting that football player Tony Romo has dumped singer Jessica Simpson just a day before her 29th birthday. The Cowboys quarterback says he wants to return to normal when he only ruined happy moments on the football field.
3. The concert merchandise that was set to be sold during Michael Jackson's "This Is It" tour will still be sold says the merchandising company. The merch ranges from mugs and t-shirts to belt buckles and replica varsity style Thriller jackets. Originally items were emblazoned with the tour's title, "This Is It," but that has since been amended with "...Unless You Wanna Buy More!"
4. Today, the first day of the hearings concerning Supreme Court nomination Sonia Sotomayor got underway. All senators recognized the extreme likelihood that Sotomayor will be confirmed. "Unless you have a complete meltdown, you're going to get confirmed," said Republican Lindsey Graham. The senator then followed Republican protocol by having an affair with Sotomayor.
5. Jon Gosselin of Jon & Kate Plus 8 was with a new girlfriend in France this week, only a month after filing for divorce from wife Kate. Jon and girlfriend Hailey Glassman were spotted shopping and holding hands. Glassman however was unaware that Gosselin reproduced via mere touch and is currently expecting 27 children.
High five.
