No-Hitters & Roethlisberger's Imperfect Game

1. A government source reports that Osama bin Laden's son, Saad bin Laden, may have been killed during an airstrike in Pakistan. However, U.S. officials warn that it's difficult to be certain, and besides there are still over 300 sons to go.

2. It was revealed today that white Cambridge Sgt. James Crowley, who mistakenly arrested black Harvard scholar Henry Louis Gates last week, is actually a police expert on racial profiling. Crowley says he just wants to move past all this and get back to training for his life long dream of playing center for the Boston Celtics.

3. On Thursday, Chicago White Sox pitcher Mark Buehrle threw the 18th perfect game no-hitter in MLB history. In honor of the no-hitter, Sox fans returned to their trailers and ceremoniously waited 18 minutes before their next domestic disturbance.

4. This morning FBI agents made the rounds in New Jersey to arrest more than 44 people on charges of corruption and money laundering, including mayors, religious leaders, and assemblymen. The extensive corruption investigation is one of the largest in the state's history, or as locals are calling it, "Thursday."

5. Ben Roethlisberger is denying allegations from a Lake Tahoe casino hostess who says the Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback raped her. In a statement released today, Roethlisberger called the charges reckless and false. "Not that I haven't had my share of tight ends, if you know what I'm saying!" added Roethlisberger, throwing up a high five.

High five.