2. The world's oldest man, a 113 year old WWI veteran, died this week, attributing his longevity to "cigarettes, whiskey, and wild, wild women." I'm sorry you probably couldn't hear yourself read over the thousands of college guys who just vindicated their weekend.
3. Astronauts this weekend installed a porch on Japan's giant space station lab. The attachment will be used for experiments mainly but astronauts joked that they may use it to people watch. The scientist then interrupted the interview to yell, "Get the fuck off my space lawn, you goddamn kids!"
4. Barnes & Noble reported today that they will be opening an electronic bookstore to compete with Amazon. The company says customers will find the experience much like there real stores. For instance, men will be notified when an attractive girl is online so they can close their book of redneck jokes and go quickly to the philosophy section.
5. Adam Yauch, "MCA" of the rap group the Beastie Boys, announced on his website that he had a very treatable form of cancer. Yauch, joined by fellow members "Ad-Rock" and "Mike D," was noticably positive saying...
Yo fuck this cancer, that shit is WHACK!
Gonna beat this tumor and that's a FACT!
Watch out fools who think your cancerOUS!
Ad-Rock and Mike D are truly dangerOUS!
My name's MCA, I'm a cancer domiNATOR!
Here's Mix Master Mike and his funky crossFADER!
Gonna beat this tumor and that's a FACT!
Watch out fools who think your cancerOUS!
Ad-Rock and Mike D are truly dangerOUS!
My name's MCA, I'm a cancer domiNATOR!
Here's Mix Master Mike and his funky crossFADER!
High five.
