Tuesday, January 5, 2010

In Vitro In 3D

1. President Obama told the nation on Tuesday that the government had enough intelligence to thwart the unsuccessful Christmas Day bombing in Detroit, but failed to connect the dots. "Intelligence was not fully analyzed or leveraged," said Obama. Intelligence officials say under George W. Bush this may never have happen since he was so good at connecting dots. It's the color by numbers that gave him trouble.

2. At the Consumer Electronics Show this weekend both Sony and DirectTV showed off their new 3D channels, though the market doesn't even yet offer 3D TVs. Both companies promise mind blowing visuals, but experts say consumers will be surprised by the new payment process, whereby providers come out of the screen and take your wallet.

3. ESPN says they will join the upcoming 3D programming revolution with their own 3D channel which will broadcast about 85 live sporting events in its first year. ESPN has not decided what types of sports they will cover in 3D, but warns that unruly or taunting basketball fans may be punched on their couch by Ron Artest.

4. On Tuesday, octuplets mother Nadya Suleman defended the fertility doctor who helped her conceive 14 children in all. Dr. Michael Kamrava is currently being accused by the California Medical Board of gross negligence, but Suleman says he did "absolutely nothing wrong." Kamrava, however, needed very little defense today as he exited his Beverly Hills home guarded by 1,000 armed, baby soldiers.

5. Religious groups are outraged by the appointment of the first ever transgender Presidential appointee, Amanda Simpson, named senior technical adviser for the Commerce Department. "The transgender thing doesn't play well with millions of conservative Evangelicals," said David Brody of the Christian Broadcasting Network. Funny coming from the believer of a God that is neither male nor female.

High five.