1. Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger will be suspended for the first six games of the 2010 NFL season for after being accused of sexual assault for the second time in less than a year. "There is no question that the excessive consumption of alcohol that evening put the students and yourself at risk," said NFL commissioner in a letter to Roethlisberger. Experts agree that 6 weeks off during the season will give Roethlisberger a chance to check out the opposing team's local bar scene.
2. A new $100 bill was introduced last month and is touted as the most advanced treasury note ever, "incorporating the best technology available." Here's how the note works, say officials: counterfeiters will get a hold of the new highly advanced $100 bill, try to copy it, then realize that in the future US money will be worth almost nothing. Joke's on them!
3. Obama said Wednesday that he is looking for someone who backs women's rights when considering a Supreme Court Justice nominee. "That's very important to me," said Obama. The President says he's not referring to rulings on abortion, but feels someone who supports women's rights will probably be better suited to handle the Supreme Court chamber vacuum cleaner.
4. In court on Wednesday, US attorneys described former Blackwater president Gary Jackson, currently being indicted on federal charges, as having a "scofflaw attitude." US attorney John Bowler says Jackson falsified federal documents to hide that the company was providing guns to the king of Jordan. Prosecutors also point out that Jackson's fixation on big guns only highlights his "smallpenis demeanor."
5. Tuesday on Howard Stern's show, Fox News host Megyn Kelly said, given the choice during the game "Marry, F***, Kill," that she would marry Sean Hannity, have sex with Bill O'Reilly, and kill Glenn Beck. Today, in a completely unrelated story, Sean Hannity said that he too would marry and have sex with Sean Hannity.
High five.
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