Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Mr. Ed-ucated

1. A 17 year old horse in Chino Hills, California is being touted as the world's smartest horse, with the ability to spell names as well as discern various shapes. In other news, scientists believe they may have discovered the secret to developing a smarter glue.

2. A missing 11 year old Florida girl was found alive after spending four nights in an alligator infested swampland. Alligator officials say the alligator responsible for the loss has been relieved of duty in the ongoing human-alligator wars.

3. On Wednesday, Sarah Palin spoke before 5,000 Tea Party members with a strong anti-tax message just a mile from the site where the original Boston Tea Party took place. "Is this what their 'change' is all about?" asked Palin. "We'll keep clinging to our Constitution and our guns and religion — and you can keep the change." God then dropped his 10ft pole and slowly backed away from the rally.

4. Some veteran astronauts are speaking out against President Obama's change in course for America's role in space exploration. Obama canceled a mission to return to the moon and wants the private sector to handle more space exploration. "It is the demise of American people in space except in someone else's vehicle," said former astronaut Eugene Cernan. Cernan then got into his new Japanese-made Honda Civic and drove away.

5. Glenn Beck has a new political thriller coming out soon called The Overton Window, and the conservative pundit is letting fans decide on the cover. So look for The Overton Window at your local bookstores -- it'll be the book with the giant sphincter on the front.

High five.