Thursday, April 22, 2010

No Shirt, No Shoes, No Kitchen Staff

1. According to California Representative Brian Bilbray, in regards to recent strict immigration legislation passed by Arizona, illegal immigrants can be spotted by their shoes and clothes. Bilbray says he knows this because he's constantly having to buy new shoes and clothes for his undocumented house staff.

2. In a heated GOP Florida Senate race, Dick Cheney has endorsed candidate Mark Rubio over Governor Charlie Crist as Rubio surges ahead in the state polls. Cheney met with Rubio earlier today where they discussed the possible destruction of Charlie Crist's home planet of Alderaan.

3. It's the fourth Thursday in April and across the country that means it's "Take Your Son or Daughter to Work Day." However, due to a troubled economy, the annual event has been changed to "Take Your Son or Daughter to Couch Day."

4. An Australian women was sentenced to 25 years in prison after she ran over and killed a man who threw cheese snacks at her car. The defense says the punishment is excessive, but the judge insisted it be sharp.

5. Twitter co-founder Biz Stone settled the "tweeted" versus "twittered" debate earlier this week in an interview with Katie Couric. "I think I'm going now have to relinquish style control here to the people who have spoken and go ahead and say, it's tweeted," said Stone. And with that, cancer was cured across the globe.

High five.