Thursday, September 17, 2009

Spacetime & Naughty Time

1. On Wednesday, Bill O'Reilly surprised many of his Fox News viewers by voicing support for a public option in the debated health care bill. O'Reilly said that if Americans didn't like their insurance and if the government could provide one at less cost with the same benefits then he would be in favor of it. Don't get too excited liberal readers. O'Reilly then told a newborn puppy to shut up.

2. On Thursday, police arrested and charged lab technician Raymond Clark with the murder of Yale grad student Annie Le. Those who worked with Clark say he was a stickler in the lab and considered it and the lab mice his property. Fortunately for Clark, he'll soon have a space of his very own and lots of friends who also grew up experimenting on small animals. Unfortunately he will be the property of someone else.

3. NASA scientists today revealed some of the surprising initial data gathered by their Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter spacecraft. Certain craters on the moon may be the coldest spots in the entire solar system, slightly colder than even Pluto, 40 times further from the sun. Scientists say this knocks off their previous record holder for coldest place in the solar system: the icy vacuous chamber where Dick Cheney's heart should be.

4. It was announced on Thursday that the first Mac Plus personal computer ever made, which was in turn given as a gift to Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry, is being auctioned off. Future civilizations will look back on this day as the moment in history when time travel was discovered, when computer geek energy and Star Trek nerd energy came together and caused a rip in the spacetime continuum.

5. Jon and Kate Gosselin's 23 year old babysitter is now coming forward claiming that she and Jon had an affair. Stephanie Santoro says it began when Jon invited her over to hang out in the hot tub one night. Santoro knew something was wrong the next day when she gave birth to 27 babies.

High five.
at 12:44 PM