Dumb Kids & Dumb Kirk

1. Kirk Cameron is defending his idea to distribute 50,000 altered copies of Charles Darwin's Origin of Species, adding an intro to the book that connects evolutionary theory to Hitler and Nazi eugenics. "Young people are entering college with a belief in God and exiting with that faith being stripped. What we want to do is have students make an informed, educated decision before they chuck their faith." That reminds me of this crazy college keg party where we played "Chuck Yer Faith" for two days straight.

2. At a town hall meeting in Kansas, citizens laughed at Republican Representative Todd Tiahrt when he claimed that a health care bill would cap doctor's wages. One attendee later apologized for laughing saying, "I didn't know he was actually a congressman, I thought someone's retarded brother grabbed the mic for a sec."

3. Julia Grovenburg shocked medical experts recently when she became pregnant while already being pregnant. The woman and her husband reportedly conceived another child two and a half weeks after conceiving the first. Mr. Grovenburg was admitted to the hospital shortly after the news was released suffering from what doctors are calling "high five exhaustion."

4. A new study out of the University of New Hampshire shows that spanking children may lower their IQs. "The data shows that parents may want to think twice before disciplining their children," said researcher Murray Straus. Straus then cracked up laughing. "I'm just kiddin', dumb kids do dumb things and you gotta knock the smart back in 'em."

5. Researchers out of the University of Missouri have a released a new study showing what they believe are the secrets to finding a job. Researchers said that out of 327 people, success occurred when job seekers had a consistently positive attitude toward the process. "That," added one researcher, "and they were allowed to use time machines to go back to a time when jobs still existed."

High five.