Merrill Lynch & Abercrombie & Fitch

1. At the Toronto Film Festival, Suzanne Somers weighed in on Patrick Swayze's death saying that the doctors poisoned the actor with chemotherapy. "Why couldn't they have built him up nutritionally and gotten rid of the toxins?" said the Three's Company Alum. Yeah, doctors, you jerks. Why didn't you just put something in Mr. Swayze's body that would have cured his incurable pancreatic cancer? Oh, right...

2. On Wednesday, a Muslim teenager in Tulsa, OK filed a lawsuit against an Abercrombie & Fitch store, claiming they discriminated against her by not hiring her because she was wearing a head scarf. Samantha Elauf, 17, claims the store manager told her the scarf violated the store's "Look Policy". A judge has already ruled in favor of Elauf after discovering that Abercrombie & Fitch's "Look Policy" is oddly similar to the "Look Policy" of the Arian Nation.

3. The former CEO of Merrill Lynch John Thain, who was criticized for spending $1.2 million on renovating his office as the company fell into financial trouble, said he should have instead furnished his office at Ikea. "If I had that to do over again, I’d furnish it in Ikea," said Thain. Analysts say that makes a lot of sense for Thain now that he gets the employee discount.

4. According to a recently released straw poll, former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee is favored by social conservatives as a presidential candidate over former Alaska governor Sarah Palin. Huckabee also beat out other high profile conservative candidates like Mitt Romney and Tim Pawlenty. Huckabee however did not beat out all challengers. The leading conservative presidential candidate? A forged Kenyan Obama birth certificate.

5. Nigeria's government is asking its cinemas to stop showing the film District 9, a sci-fi film and apartheid allegory about an alien race landing in South Africa. The government released a statement saying that Nigeria is unfairly portrayed as the villain of the film. The government then informed the cinemas that they had just inherited millions from a long lost relative and needed to provide bank account information to collect the inheritance.

High five.