Monday, June 14, 2010

Wi, Starbucks?

1. Starbucks announced today that it will offer free Wi-Fi at all its stores as of July 1st. The company says the move will allow the free transfer of billions of unfinished screenplays.

2. On Monday, Microsoft introduced a new, slimmer Xbox 360 console just in time for summer. Microsoft says smaller is the natural evolution for most game consoles, but critics say this move comes suspiciously soon after the release the Xbox's new game series Anorexia 360.

3. Amid rising criticism from the American public as well as the U.S. government, BP today held a press conference to discuss their outline for capturing the Gulf oil spill. BP's CEO Tony Hayward highlighted the plan for the press corps, but when his pen began leaking everywhere, Hayward threw it to the ground, placed a bucket over it and ran from the room.

4. Jimmy Dean, singer and businessman famous for his breakfast sausage, died Sunday at the age of 81. Dean's family is still unsure what they will do with his remains, so it's probably a good idea not to buy Jimmy Dean products for the next month or so.

5. In a new ad, Alabama congressional Tea Party candidate Rick Barber encourages his supporters to "gather their armies" while showing a hand near a Revolutionary War era revolver. Barber says he's finally ready to serve his country after sending out mailers via Pony Express 200 years ago.

High five.