1. Wal-Mart announced today that they are teaming up with American Public University to offer online college degrees to their employees at a reduced price. Now they can get an affordable college education from the comfort of their own banana hammock.
2. A new FBI report shows that of America's largest cities, the ones with the lowest violent crime rates are in border states, contradicting the notion that U.S.-Mexico border is a dangerous place. Anti-immigration proponents say the data is misguided, as Mexicans need only use border cities to rest before they make their way inland for a life of crime.
3. Newly released documents obtained by TMZ show that Lindsay Lohan had tested positive for cocaine use during her DUI arrest, despite the actress' denial. The documents will go back into Lohan's court file where they will remain until getting a dusting off in about a year.
4. On Wednesday, Canadian rock band Rush accused Kentucky U.S. senate candidate Rand Paul of copyright violation, saying in a letter that Paul used their work without permission. Today, Kentucky's Ku Klux Klan chapter sent Paul a similar letter.
5. R. Kelly's Chicago home is up for sale now at a price tag of $3.89 million. That price gets bumped up to $4 million however if you want them to first hose down the carpets.
High five.
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