Monday, June 28, 2010

Isner No End?

1. At Wimbledon on Wednesday, American John Isner and Frenchman Nicolas Mahut set a new grand slam singles record by playing for 10 straight hours, with the fifth set alone lasting 7 of those hours. When reached for comment, most of the world replied, "It's a good thing I hate tennis, otherwise I might've had to watch that."

2. Minnesota representative Michelle Bachmann said in an interview that she believes President Obama will "politicize" the fund used to compensate those affected by the Gulf oil spill. Bachmann then politicized the fund used to compensate those affected by the Gulf oil spill.

3. Today a decorated former Chicago police lieutenant Jon Burge was convicted on perjury and obstruction charges after he lied about torturing dozens of suspects into confessions. And with that, the clean, uncorrupted reputation of Chicago authority figures is tarnished.

4. A new study out of Harvard shows that women gain an average of 20lbs over the course of 16 years. The study however goes on to make bold exception for Harvard scientists' wives and girlfriends who "clearly have not gained any weight."

5. It's been reported that Jon Gosselin, formerly of the TLC show Jon & Kate Plus 8, has gotten a massive tattoo on his back. Gosselin says the tattoo of a large dragon represents rebirth took 14 hours to complete. Twenty children were born.

High five.