1. Included in the new controversial immigration law passed in Arizona this month are some laws which are not common knowledge to the public. For instance, schools will lose state funding if they offer course "designed primarily for students of a particular ethnic group or advocate ethnic solidarity instead of the treatment of pupils as individuals." The law also advises that you bring in your swastika flag if you think it might rain.
2. On Thursday, MLB Player's Association Director Michael Weiner criticized Arizona's new immigration law. This law "could have a negative impact on hundreds of Major League players who are citizens of countries other than the United States," Weiner wrote in a statement, using a 30o pound pen courtesy of HGH Inc.
3. On Friday Bret Michaels' doctor said the 47 year old Poison frontman has a will to live that is "undeniable." Michaels is still undergoing hospital care after suffering a brain hemorrhage last week. Dr. Joseph Zabramski still isn't exactly sure what caused the hemorrhage, but most of the tests point to long sustained, unapologetic ROCKING.
4. Starbucks is being sued by a customer who reportedly suffered second degree burns from the store's hot tea. In 1994, a women won a huge lawsuit against McDonald's when she spilled scalding coffee in her lap. However, authorities say the Starbuck's customer may be trying to bilk the company out of money, since the his original complaint reported burns to his "vagina."
5. Wal-Mart Stores Inc. has agreed to pay $27.6 million to settle a lawsuit alleging it improperly stored, handled and dumped hazardous waste at stores. The world's largest corporation can no longer store said waste. In a related story, today Wal-Mart reported no stock.
High five.
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