1. Connecticut Attorney General Richard Blumenthal apologized today for misspeaking on his Vietnam service record. Blumenthal, running for one of Connecticut's US Senate seats, talked previously about his service in Vietnam, but while he served in the Marine Corps Reserves, he was never actually in Southeast Asia. Blumenthal attributed his lapse to the long hours he spends being a part time astronaut.
2. Louisiana reported on Wednesday that the first heavy oil of the disastrous BP Gulf spill has reached its marshland coast. So, things in Louisiana are finally looking up!
3. Adam Wheeler, a Harvard student, was outed this past week for using fake credentials to land financial aid and more recently a job. Wheeler's resume claimed he knew four languages and was currently authoring or co-authoring six books. Of course, having received my doctorate in Book Learningtology from Princevard University, I knew instantly that his claims were false.
4. Archeologists announced that they have found the oldest Mesoamerican tomb, dated at around 2,700 years old. The tomb contained a man scientists believe to around age 50, who was buried with jade collars, pyrite and a "Vote McCain in 690BC" button.
5. On Tuesday Wal-Mart's first quarter net income saw a 10 percent rise, mirroring a similar rise in Wal-Mart customer G-strings.
High five.
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