1. It's been announced that actress Sandra Bullock will take to the red carpet again on June 6th at the MTV Movie Awards. Bullock had been recently lying low after going through a very public infidelity scandal. In future news, Sandra Bullock left the MTV Awards in shock today after the red carpet had been photographed with at least 500 other women.
2. Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerburg said today in a Washington Post op-ed that the social network will soon feature revamped privacy controls. "Facebook has no intention of invading anyone's privacy," said Zuckerburg. Adding, "Especially for people like Kathy Mitchell of Waukegan, IL and her wide variety of personal cleavage shots."
3. According to recent reports, days before an explosion of the Deepwater Horizon oil rig that caused one of the largest spills in history, BP execs knowingly chose to seal the well with a riskier engineering method for financial reasons. BP execs today apologized saying they would make amends by properly sealing mother nature's anus after they've finished raping it.
4. Attorney General Eric Holder met with 10 US police chiefs today who all agreed that the recent controversial Arizona Immigration Law would increase crime and hinder local law enforcement. The meeting was however cut short and the bomb squad brought in when Holder was believed to possess a Mexican looking mustache.
5. GOP candidate Vaughn Ward was defeated in an Idaho Republican primary Tuesday despite being endorsed by both Sarah Palin and the GOP. While Ward was upset by a candidate of the growing Tea Party movement, analysts say it was likely due to his strong anti-potato views.
High five.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
