1. Egyptian president Hosni Mubarak tried to squelch political turmoil in his country by telling protesting and rioting citizens that after his current term is over he will not run again. The walls of his office then collapsed, protesters swarmed inside and he quickly learned to run again.
2. Barbara Bush, 29 year old daughter of George W. Bush, today endorsed gay marriage, a view very much in opposition to her father's. Then again, that's what bush against bush is all about.
3. The Museum of New York City is featuring an exhibit celebrating the rich history of Harlem's Apollo Theater. Curators add, however, that if visitors can't appreciate the importance of the exhibit, they will be boo and/or laughed out of the museum as a clown sweeps at their feet.
4. Michele Bachmann today announced her official opposition to recent airport security technology, saying that "naked pictures" of her could show up on the internet after full body scans. However, Bachmann was not referring to an airport experience, but rather a regretful college experience involving her straight-to-video Skin-emax film, Body Scan.
5. Pittsburgh Steelers' receiver Hines Ward today criticized the NFL saying, "They don't give a fuck about concussions." Ward added, "And they don't give a fuck about concussions either."
High five.
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