1. BP is the subject of even further controversy after it was discovered that a photo of their oil spill command center was heavily Photoshopped. The image went unnoticed for weeks until one web user noticed that BP CEO Tony Hayward was missing his C-section scar.
2. A Brooklyn couple is reportedly very upset with Chelsea Clinton now that the former first daughter is getting married on the same day, and withing five minutes of them, making arrangements very difficult. "Chelsea Clinton has taken what was supposed to be a special day for me turned it into hell," says bride-to-be Emn Haddad-Friedman. Haddad-Friedman say however that she has invited the Clintons to stop by... Bill has RSVP'd that he will.
3. There are reports now that Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston are shopping around a reality TV show about their relationship. Networks said they would be interested in a pilot, but no long term commitments. To which Levi replied, "Perfect!"
4. Texas A&M announced that they will no longer supply the toilet paper in the dorms as a way of cutting costs to the school. Experts however wonder now what they'll use to clean up their own bullshit.
5. Thousands of documents released today by the website WikiLeaks, reportedly leaked by various military servicemen and women, have created even more doubts about the Afgan War. Wait... the war in Afghanistan is not going well, you say? Huh...
High five.
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