Terrell Owens Thinking & Rick Sanchez Journalisting

1. Buffalo Bills' Terrell Owens, no stranger to trouble, criticized NFL commissioner Roger Goodell calling his treatment of Michael Vick unfair. It was rumored that Goodell would give a four game suspension to Vick should he be reinstated. Adding four games to a two year prison sentence, said Owens, was like "kicking a dead horse." Today Vick distanced himself from Owens saying, "Everyone knows kicking a dead horse is a bad idea, especially if you need your dogs to have quality horse meat."

2. The New York Daily News reported on Monday that MLB commissioner Bud Selig may consider reinstating Pete Rose, 20 years after the hits leader was banned for life for gambling on baseball. Despite a statement released by Selig saying his thinking on the matter had not changed, Rose has already placed a significant wager in Vegas that he will be reinstated.

3. Yesterday Hawaii's Health Director Dr. Chiyome Fukino tried to end all arguments from "Birthers," those who believe President Obama was not born in this country, saying she has "seen the original vital records ... verifying Barrack Hussein Obama was born in Hawaii." However, experts agree the issue would never have arose if Hawaiians used standard birth certificates and not thinly sliced Spam.

4. A new study out of Virginia Tech Transportation Institute shows that texting while driving makes drivers 23 times more likely to get into a collision. The 18 month study followed more than 100 truckers and measured factors such as reaction time and time spent texting. However, more surprising was the text sent most commonly between truckers: "trucking lol!"

5. CNN host Rick Sanchez tweeted some harsh words about HBO host Bill Maher saying, "The more I watch bill maher, the more I realize what an opportunist he is. He'll say anything to get people to say ooohh! Even if bs!" Rick Sanchez then continued his run for the Pulitzer by being tasered.

High five.

Taco Bell & Fringe Movements

1. The Taco Bell chihuahua, famous for uttering the phrase "Yo quiero Taco Bell" in so many TV ads, has died at the age of 15. The fast food company released a statement today saying they were saddened by the news. Like so many dogs before her, the chihuahua will be ceremoniously added to the Taco Bell ground beef.

2. It was announced Wednesday that Director Sam Raimi is signed on to direct a film adaptation of the online role playing game World of Warcraft. In keeping true to the nature of the game, Raimi says the film will be over 3,000 hours long and will end with your girlfriend dumping you.

3. This fall Whitney Houston is set to release her first album in nearly 7 years. I Look To You, she says, is a cathartic look at the recent troubles in her life, specifically her addiction to drugs. Houston has always denied using hardcore stimulants like crack, but critics note that her new album is a 700 disc set.

4. A new fringe movement of the Republican party is gaining some momentum. The Birthers take the stance that Barack Obama was not born in this country, does not have U.S. citizenship, and in turn cannot legally be president. Despite mountains of evidence to the contrary, media outlets continue to cover the story. "It's the same reason we show footage of Klan rallies," says an anonymous CEO. "After watching, you just feel tons better about yourself."

5. As Sonia Sotomayor nears confirmation for the Supreme Court, more and more Republican Senators are ready to approve what would be the court's first Hispanic. While some believe Sotomayor wowed GOP members with her centrist testimony, most experts agree it probably had something to do with all the affairs Republicans had with her.

High five.