ADHD & Captured Memories

1. While people mourn the death of both Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett, Jeff Goldblum is alive and well after reports circulated the Internet that he had also died. Goldblum's rep released a statement saying the actor is in fact fine, but did receive his usual daily mail bag of death threats.

2. It was reported today that the Jackson family would like a second autopsy done on superstar Michael Jackson after many questions have been raised concerning his death. However, the coroner's office released a statement today saying they don't have a 50 year old Black man in their possession, only what looks to be a much older Chinese lady.

3. A student is getting life in prison after killing another man over a Playstation. Looks like... game over for him?!


4. New findings in Molecular Psychiatry link hundreds of genes to Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD). Scientist believe this is just the beginning in the push to Mars rover Batman ice cream elephant Sportscenter.

5. Scientists at UCLA have captured the first ever image of a memory being made at the cellular level. The biochemists used sea slugs, which have been helpful in brain cell research, to capture the image. Still no word yet on the ability to erase memories, but the producers of According To Jim have their fingers crossed.

High five.

Michael Jackson & Strip Searches

1. The White House announced today that President Obama would nominate former Bush administration official Meredith Attwell Baker to a Republican seat on the FCC. Meanwhile, Meredith Vieira remains optimistic that Obama will honor her request to be Secretary of Dimly Lit Game Show Stages.


2. Critics are questioning whether or not a Christian publisher should publish a book written by Kate Gosselin of Jon & Kate Plus 8 considering recent allegations of infidelity and now a looming divorce. However, the publisher was quick to point out, "We're Christians. Sweeping things under the carpet is what we do."

3. The United States Supreme Court today ruled 8-1 that a 13 year old Arizona student's rights had been violated when her school performed a strip search on her to find Ibuprofen. Justice Clarence Thomas was the only Justice who dissented in the vote, making for an extremely awkward Justice luncheon tomorrow.

4. 70's sex symbol Farrah Fawcett passed away today at the age of 62. Funeral arrangements are being made for this weekend, but Fawcett will make a special nostaglic appearance tonight at the computer desks of men age 30-60.

5. The "King of Pop" Michael Jackson died suddenly today at the age of 50 after reportedly going into cardiac arrest. Paramedics performed CPR on the singer at his L.A. home and then rushed him to UCLA Medical Center where he was pronounced dead. Jackson representatives then honored Jackson's last dying wishes by checking Macaulay Culkin's pulse.

High five.