1. This weekend Alaska Governor Sarah Palin finally stepped down from her post after announcing her plan to resign weeks ago. Palin said she wanted to take on political battles on a larger stage and avoid being an unproductive lame duck for Alaska. Palin then killed a duck.
2. On Sunday Justin Timberlake unveiled his newly renovated eco-friendly golf course, telling reporters that no one is happier about the "green" course than he is. Timberlake ex-girlfriend Britney Spears also did her part for the environment today when she decided to purchase underwear.
3. David Douglas of Cypress, Texas is celebrating this week after winning the Hemingway Look-Alike Contest in Key West, Florida. The event highlights a six day celebration honoring the famous American author and was entered by a record number of contestants. Though officials agree the increased entry was not because of Hemingway's growing popularity but likely due to the elimination of the suicide portion of the contest.
4. Wal-Mart has recently announced on its website that it will be offering a $300 laptop. In an effort to compete with Best Buy's laptop deals, Wal-Mart is featuring an affordable Compaq Presario with 3GB of RAM, a 160GB hard drive, and a stylish but sturdy chassis made from the bones of former Wal-Mart greeters.
5. The Walt Disney company is doing groundbreaking new research on how consumers respond to web ads. The most interesting results came from having men browse a fake ESPN.com littered with ads featuring swimsuit clad women. Researchers found that men were instantly drawn to the ads, but after five minutes had only a flaccid interest.
High five.
Showing posts with label ESPN. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ESPN. Show all posts
Monday, July 27, 2009
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Erin Andrews & CIA Hit Squads
1. Milwaukee Brewers first baseman Prince Fielder took home the crown in the 2009 Home Run Derby. Talking to ESPN reporter Erin Andrews, Fielder thanked the crowd and said he was happy to win. Though, with Erin Andrews on the microphone, we're ALL winners in the Home Run Derby.
2. A new study shows that cats wield an enormous amount of power over their owners. Scientists at the University of Sussex in England say that cats take advantage of a human's response to crying to get what they want. Researchers found that when a cat gives a higher pitched cry, it wants to be fed; when the cat mixes that cry with purring, it wants to be petted; and when a cat smacks you across the face with the butt of a .22, it wants its money, bitch.
3. The Pentagon released a statement today saying that they won't ban tobacco products in war zones, though a study provided to the Department of Defense suggests tobacco use among soldiers comes with serious health risks. Oh... you mean like... being in a war zone?
4. According to intelligence officials, former CIA director George Tenet canceled the idea of a secret team of hitmen dedicated to hunting and killing al-Qaida leaders. The program was later resurrected by Dick Cheney until someone told the former Vice President that G.I. Joe was only a cartoon.
5. South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford skipped meetings with his top economic advisers this week and instead took a trip with his wife. The governor recently admitted to an extramarital affair after already taking mysterious trips to Argentina. No word yet on where they've headed, but sources say the neighborhood couple the Sanfords are currently swinging with suspect an extra-swinging affair.
High five.
2. A new study shows that cats wield an enormous amount of power over their owners. Scientists at the University of Sussex in England say that cats take advantage of a human's response to crying to get what they want. Researchers found that when a cat gives a higher pitched cry, it wants to be fed; when the cat mixes that cry with purring, it wants to be petted; and when a cat smacks you across the face with the butt of a .22, it wants its money, bitch.
3. The Pentagon released a statement today saying that they won't ban tobacco products in war zones, though a study provided to the Department of Defense suggests tobacco use among soldiers comes with serious health risks. Oh... you mean like... being in a war zone?
4. According to intelligence officials, former CIA director George Tenet canceled the idea of a secret team of hitmen dedicated to hunting and killing al-Qaida leaders. The program was later resurrected by Dick Cheney until someone told the former Vice President that G.I. Joe was only a cartoon.
5. South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford skipped meetings with his top economic advisers this week and instead took a trip with his wife. The governor recently admitted to an extramarital affair after already taking mysterious trips to Argentina. No word yet on where they've headed, but sources say the neighborhood couple the Sanfords are currently swinging with suspect an extra-swinging affair.
High five.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
